Once and Forever
by hiroyukibenjamin
Summary: *NOTE: 'IN ILLO TEMPORE' SPOILER ALERT* Is it just Pokémon that have voices that need to be heard? If I were to bring N's ideology into this, my opinion is that humans and Pokémon are the same: they deserve to be heard. So what do these two have to offer? N's very special to me, and rather than shipping, I needed an OC to help me look into the character, and Shin did a great job.


N stared at himself reflecting in the hot cup of tea. The clock ticked inside the quiet room. Despite N being alone in the room, he smiled at his own reflection, and his reflection smiled back. This hardly ever happened in N's life.

As N broke the smile, he still kept staring and remembered the reflection that he saw in the Legendary Pokémon's eyes. But for once he appreciated the power of light and how reflections occur on certain surfaces. He did indeed smile when he saw himself in those eyes, but it was because of reassurance that the Legendary Pokémon was looking back. He missed it, and his journey and experience, and how he grew up to admire it and to gain its approval.

N had memories, and N had friends that he loved, but he never thought that any single human being would be amongst those friends. He was human, and for once he was completely human: a human with a dream and a goal to achieve. N blew the steam away from the cup and sipped. The warm and sensational flavor spread in his mouth and down his throat. He took another sip, and moved himself to lean against the wall and stared at the ticking clock. He was wondering if he should go to bed soon, but that was not his decision to make.

"Sorry I took so long, N. N? Oh…." Shin opened the door to his room and noticed that N had fallen asleep. He bit his lower lip and tiptoed further in, closing the door and trying not to make the smallest of sounds. Shin sat against wall on the other side of the room, which was not particularly large. He stared at him as he slept, and deeply hoped that his dreams weren't haunting him.

When he met N for the first time in the Castle, Shin was dragged out by the Grunts before he had a chance to tuck N into bed. Hence nothing made him happier more than seeing N asleep. Shin smiled as the little green-haired boy came back to his memories. He still regretted the fact that the reunion occurred after 15 years, when it only took 3 months for himself. N was a dear friend, but it took a while for him to be reassured that N forgave him for the reunion that was long overdue.

As Shin heard N's sleepy breaths, he smiled and quietly took the comforter off of his own bed and moved over to the other side of the room to cover N in it, but before he could, he saw his own reflection in N's blue eyes. N gasped and moved backwards, causing him to bump his head against the wall he was leaning on! Shin widened his eyes and tossed the comforter aside, sliding even closer to N without standing up.

"Oh Go… Are you okay? Did that hurt? Do you need some ice!?" Shin quickly reached his hand towards the back of N's head. N smiled and started to laugh. Shin blushed. "What's so funny?"

"You!" N replied. "You're too nice. I've seen Trainers worrying deeply about their Pokémon after battles. You sound just like them. I never understood why they let their Pokémon battle to begin with if they were so worried." Shin grinned at N's comments. They definitely sidetracked but it definitely made Shin feel excited to start a late night conversation. He slid next to N and pulled the comforter, placing it on N's lap before commenting himself.

"Well, Trainers don't want their Pokémon to get hurt. They care about their Pokémon more than you might think. I've definitely seen that." N almost interrupted Shin, raising his voice a tad bit.

"But that's just it! It doesn't make sense. A Pokémon Trainer wants to strengthen their Pokémon through battles, and yet they don't want them to get hurt. But injuries are inevitable, don't you think? As long as the Pokémon is willing to battle, there's no reason to stop the trainer from letting them participate, but wouldn't they also expect that they'd get hurt? Or… do they assume that their Pokémon will win and won't get hurt? That's unreasonable! Besides how could a Pokémon get stronger by winning every single bat…" N stopped in mid-sentence, sighing and looking away from N. Shin was surprised at his sudden change of tone.

"What's wrong?" Shin asked. N moved his head back but still avoided eye contact with Shin.

"I don't know. Sometimes I wonder what I can do to change this habit of mine."

"Which one?"

"When I start talking, I just, don't stop. I think too much." Shin moved his head, hoping that he could manage to look at N's eyes.

"But those are good points. Why does that contradiction exist in Pokémon Trainers? I don't know too much about what your ideology used to be, but you didn't want those contradictions, right?" N shook his head.

"I didn't. I wanted every single human being to release their Pokémon. I wanted them to cut their ties with Pokémon. But then, this contradiction tortured me and it took me a while to understand that a harmonious world is possible." Shin reminded himself of all of the stories he heard of Team Plasma before he met N. He wondered what it took for N to be so naïve about the relationship between humans and Pokémon. Suddenly, the clock rang its bells, telling the time. N finally looked at Shin. "We should go to bed. N stood up and held the comforter to carry it back to Shin's bed.

"Maybe!" Shin shouted. N looked at Shin and seemed slightly surprised, but Shin had to share his thoughts before they could go to bed. "Maybe, it's because we care. You know how a parent scolds their child even when you know they love them? To the child it may seem like a contradiction, but it all ties into one fact: that the parent loves their child." N stared at Shin in silence and looked towards the blank wall, moving his hand under his chin and trying to analyze what Shin had just said. "N, sit down. I don't know about you, but I like sitting when I think." Even though N was hardly paying any attention, he still sat down and leaned against the side of Shin's bed. Shin felt nothing but endearment in his heart. N was adorable. He knew it was odd, but he couldn't help but think of N as the little boy that woke up from his nightmares and broke into tears. He felt like a Big Brother, and he hadn't felt like one for a very long time.

"I've seen parents scold their children… I've been scolded by my fa… Ghetsis when I was young, very rarely though." He looked down, placing his hands on the floor. "Well, Ghetsis isn't a very good example I guess." Shin shook his head.

"Nope. If what I heard was true and you were kept in that room for your entire childhood, it's definitely a 'no.'" As Shin heard himself say those words, he couldn't help but feel that protective emotion that he had for N. He sat next to N again, leaning against his bed. "I can't believe you were kept in that same room for years even after I accidently went into it. You deserved better. You have so much to offer and yet all of that was locked in for so long. What a waste this Ghetsis guy made." Shin looked out the window and let out a big yawn, and a few seconds later, N yawned as well. It brought a small grin to Shin's face. "But you know what, if you remember what I said to you before, that doesn't matter. You're here now and you're sharing those thoughts with me. I appreciate that."

N rubbed his eyes. He felt guilty for missing most of what Shin had just said. He was getting tired, and from the looks of it, so was Shin. Without saying a word and keeping his thoughts to himself, N sits up and lets Shin take his bed before he could borrow a pillow and sheets and sleep on the floor. Shin stood up with him at the same time, confusing N.

"You're sleeping on the bed. You always do." Shin pointed at the bed and jokingly demanded N to sleep where Shin chose him to.

"About that…" N began to confess. "I… I have a hard time sleeping on this bed. I don't know why. I think it's because I'm just used to sleeping in small spaces. In fact, since you know what my room was like in the castle, it just brings bad memories." Shin bit his lower lip, but when an idea clicked in his mind, he pulled N's wrist strong enough to make him sit down on the bed next to him. He grinned mischievously before the teasing began.

"Are you afraid of having nightmares? Do you need a security blanket or a stuffed Pokémon? I can get both for you." N blushed, shaking his head and palms profusely.

"What! No! Please don't. It's just…" Shin laughed and placed his arm around Shin.

"I'm just giving you a hard time. Sorry." Shin paused before hesitantly offering the idea he had. "Do you, do you want to share the bed…?" N didn't answer.

"Why?" N asked. Shin's suggestion came out of the blue, and it felt like Shin was still teasing. "I told you, all I have to do is sleep on the floor." Shin shook his head and moved backwards, putting himself on one side of the bed.

"Come on~ nobody's watching. Besides…" Shin's expression turned into a serious one, remembering the bliss he felt when he held onto N to reassure him that his nightmares weren't real and that Shin would never hurt him. "Besides, I was never able to tuck you to sleep. I know this sounds weird but, I feel like it's my duty. I don't know if you still need that sort of thing. It's about me more than it's about you. I want you to be happy, and I want to be with you when you're not." N didn't know what to say. The other side of the spectrum flashed back in his mind as he remembered being held by a stranger. That stranger was right there beside him. It was Shin, and he was exactly the same. He still had his long hair, he still had his birthmark under his eye, he still smelled like the forest air, and he still looked confident and brotherly, yet sensitive and even frail at the same time. Without saying a word, N finally sat on Shin's bed, lying down on it. The bed was a little too small for two adults, and it definitely would bring the wrong impression if anybody had seen them. But both Shin and N didn't mind it. After all, nobody else knew about their first encounter, and how it felt for the two young men, one of them being forced to wait for years.

The lights were already off, and N and Shin still struggled to get comfortable on the small bed. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all. N was very close to suggesting that he sleep on the floor like he had originally intended. He faced Shin to offer that suggestion, when he was interrupted by a familiar scene from when he was little. If only he were still young. He would have had the courage to fully accept the care that the stranger, now a friend, provided for him. But he felt like it was too late. He had experienced so much and he should have been able to tolerate nightmares by now. N hesitated before Shin moved his mouth.

"N?"

"Hmm?"

"…You can hear voices of the hearts of Pokémon, right?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Have you ever tried listening to a human's voice of the heart?" N thought for a moment. He had only recently learned that humans had that voice too, and that they needed to be heard. He never thought about it, but Shin's question caused curiosity.

"No. But I don't know how. My ability to hear Pokémons' hearts is something I was blessed with. I don't know about humans. Besides, considering how there are so many conflicts out there, I think humans simply don't have that ability, even amongst themselves." Shin shook his head. The darkness hid Shin's reddened watery eyes.

"No, N. That's not true. People can hear other people's hearts. I want you to at least try reading mine." N didn't know how to respond. He blinked when not a moment later, Shin moved closer to N and moved his hand towards N's chest, feeling his heartbeat. N's heartbeat called in unison with the ticking of the clock. N looked at Shin in the darkness. Oddly enough, he saw Shin's eyes reflect the moonlight. When he reached his hand towards Shin's chest, he concentrated and focused on his heartbeat, taking Shin's words seriously and trying to hear Shin's voice. He didn't hear anything and that was exactly what he expected. All he could hear was that comforting sound that Shin made to keep him safe.

"_Shhhhh…."_

At that moment, N was afraid. He remembered exactly what he dreamt of, and how afraid he was of his friends getting hurt. He took a deep breath to distract himself from those thoughts, but all he could sense was the aroma of the forest that Shin carried with him. The last time this happened, somebody was there, and he told N that everything was going to be okay, and that despite being human, he also had a voice he wanted N to hear.

He could have called it a flashback. He could have called it a paradox. Either way, it was something he couldn't calculate, just like everything he had learned in these past year. N felt a slight gap in time that felt both long and short. He was definitely half asleep, but when he gained his consciousness back, he felt a warmth surround him. N didn't have to open his eyes to find out that Shin was already holding him tightly. Even though time travel was what caused all of it, it was still amazing how all of it was identical. Shin had returned from his absence, and Shin came back to bring happiness to his heart once again.

Shin cradled N in his arms very gently, rubbing his back and nuzzling his head. The oddness of the situation no longer mattered to either one of them. This was simply making up for what had to be done before Shin went back to his time. After all, isn't that the whole purpose of his pilgrimage? Wasn't this what Celebi wanted? Shin promised himself that he would help N fall asleep. It wasn't a difficult task anyway, considering how sleepy they both were.

N exhaled against Shin's chest and sniffed the sadness away. N closed his eyes and thought for a while. He thought in his head, with his own voice in his heart that he knew Shin would be able to hear even if no other human did.

_You were right, Shin… I do hear your voice, and I feel the same way. But aside from that, I want you to know something else… _

_You made me happy, then and now. And this time, I think it'll last longer. _

_Perhaps, it'll last forever…_


End file.
